The CWCville Tales Episode 3 - Hot Pursuit

Chris staggered off the road he was just run over on and limps onto the sidewalk. He feels inside his bag and notices the apple is gone.

“Oh my perplexed pickle!” Chris shouted. He then contacts the General on his radio.

“Chris, what the hell do you want? I’m busy here, my pubes won’t wax themselves you know.” The General responded through the radio.

Chris stuttered “A man stole the apple and I don’t know what to do. I need some help.”

Irritated, the General replies “Fine, well follow him then.”

“But the gosh darn Negro drove away.” Chris responded.

“Oh don’t worry Chris. I’m sure you’ll use all of your intelligence and charm to catch up to the thief. Maybe. Ok, bye!”” The General turns off the radio, leaving Chris stranded on the road.

“Intelligence and charm...” Chris thought to himself.

Chris decided to stick his thumb out, attempting to hitch a ride. Suddenly, a car pulls over and rolls down the window.

A man looks at Chris and says “Hey baby, you want a ride?”

“Yes! I need to borrow your car, I need to catch someone!” Chris shouted.

“OK” the man whispered. “But you’ll have to do something for me...”

Chris sighed “Alright, I’ll suck your duck.” But I won’t make eye contact”

“No eye contact, but you can stroke my balls.” The driver replied.

“You drive a hard bargain. I bet that’s not the only thing that’s hard!” Chris chirped.

Meanwhile, Clyde, Pickle and Idea are sitting in a parking lot then receive a call from Trump.

Trump barks through the radio “Hey folks, it’s great to hear from you. I’m gonna tell you some amazing news. I hired a mole to steal Chris’s apple thing and Chris is following him into our trap. Now because you beautiful people are so helpful to me, I want you to follow this dumbass so we don’t lose him”

Clyde remarked “His poetry with words never fails to impress me.”

“Yeah, but doesn’t he have like... a job or something?” Pickle questioned.

Idea interrupted “Brah, shut the fuck up. This is like... important shit”

The car drives away and onto the main road.

Meanwhile, Chris had caught up with the black car and leaned out the window to the other driver.

Chris screamed “Hey! If you don’t give me back that apple... I’ll report you for... being a faggot!”

The other driver stuck his middle finger up at Chris and pulled away.

“That went well!” Chris’s passenger said. “Now are you going to finish me off or what?” he said, while pointing at his crotch.

“You know, I’m not in the mood for this! I’m under a huge amount of stress!” Chris snarled as he caught back up to the car, then leaned out the window and jumped onto the back of the black car.

Chris whines “Ah! I didn’t know this would be so dangerous!”

The driver notices Chris on the roof and slams on the brakes. Chris’s body slides off the windshield and onto the road.

The driver gets out the car and walks towards Chris, with a knife in his hand.

Chris pants and splutters “Please don’t kill me! I’ll suck you off too, I just need some more saliva!”

As the driver is about to thrust his knife towards Chris, another car crashes into him, killing him.

Chris stands up and smiles with relief “Oh praise to Godjesus, thank you!”

Just then, he notices Clyde, Pickle and Idea step out of the car. He gasps.

“Hello Chris” Clyde says. “Do you mind if we go for a ride?”

In a flash of anger, Chris runs at Clyde but the sudden burst of speed causes him to pass out and collapse to the ground.

They stand over Chris looking shocked. “Wow” Pickle said “That’s the most exercise he’s done since 2003”

Idea walks to the driver’s bag and pulls out the Golden Apple.

“This is the apple the president was talking about. “ Idea said “What do you think it does?”

Clyde looked and replied “That doesn’t matter, let’s just get this... thing back to the White House and... have a little talk.”

“Hang on” Pickle interrupted. “Does this seem a little rushed or is it just me?”

“Don’t worry about it” Clyde replied “This is only a bridge episode that has no real impact on the overall story. It’s really just here to fill numbers.”

Pickle then intervened “Anyway we have bigger problems on our hands. Literally.”

They stare at Chris and then at each other, wondering how can they move him into the car.