The CWCville Tales Episode 11 - The CWCville Military

Two scientists enter a laboratory to face five humanoid creatures in the far end of the room. The creatures are darkly lit.

The head scientist says “These things better work this time. Raise the voltage.”

Another scientist flicks a switch on the wall and walks over to a computer. He looks at the screen and gives a thumbs up.

“Everything seems to be successful.” The assistant replies.

“Excellent” the head responds. “Now before we start the experiments, we need to check on the radiation levels to make sure it’s not dangerous.”

“OK, but do we both have to go together?” the assistant asks.

“Of course we do, it’s necessary for the story!” the head snarls.

The assistant squints his face “It’s a little early to start with the plot convenience isn’t it?”

“Shut your mouth.” The head says as they both leave the room. As soon as the door closes, Magi-Chan and Chris appear in a flash of light and run up to the creatures.

“Alright, these are the right ones.” Chris whispers. “Can you transport all of them Magi-Chan?”

“Should be alright, you know I could have done this by myself. You didn’t have to come with me.” Magi-Chan says to Chris.

Chris responds “Well, don’t take this the wrong say but I wanted to make sure y’all was able to be subtle and silent.”

Chris suddenly belches, prompting the scientists to run back into the room.

“Hey! What are you doing?!” The head barks.

As Magi-Chan begins teleporting him, Chris and the creatures away, Chris yells “suck my taint!” as they vanish.

Chris and Magi-chan arrive back in Chris’s office with the other hedgehogs in the room.

“Well, the operation was a total success!” Chris beams “All thanks to my magnificent leadership!” he adds while Magi-Chan rolls his eyes.

They all stare at the towering figures brought back. All five of them appear to be robotic, wearing white suits of armour.

Wild interjects “Chris, do you think this was a productive use of time?”

Chris scoffs “What do you mean? I always said I need a new police force and these things will provide the perfect solution to CWCville’s crime problems!”

“Well, couldn’t you have just hired more human police officers instead of breaking the law?” Rosechu asks.

“Also Father, isn’t most of the crime here caused by protests against you?” Sonichu adds.

“Now look here!” Chris shouts “If y’all are gonna disrespect me like this, maybe I shouldn’t have gone to all this effort!”

“Hold on.” Punchy asks. “Don’t we kind of have superpowers ourselves? Wouldn’t it make more sense if we became police officers instead?”

Chris storms out the room, past Allison while shouting “Did I create a bunch of goddamn jerkops?!”

“What a dick.” Allison mutters while not looking up.

Meanwhile, in the White House, President Trump enters the oval office while facing a group of people at his desk. He sits down at his desk.

“Alright you dicksplashes listen up! Trump shouts. I created you genetic freaks with tasty taxpayer money to help me kill some retard because I was betrayed by some noobs.”

“And to save time for the reader, plus the writer being lazy as shit, here’s a list of my new minions and their powers.” Trump explains.

Zogarth – Shapeshifter

Contral – Ability to control technological objects

Cyclops – One eyed dude that fires lasers

Jack – Just a normal guy tbh

“All caught up? Good.” Trump says. “Anyway, it has come to my attention that Chris-Chan has been conducting some robotic burglary so we have to stop him. And when I say we, I mean you.”

“So I guess you want me do all the work for this one?” Contral asks.

“Not quite, I want Zogarth and Cyclops to travel to CWCville, break into the mayoral office and kill him.”

Zogarth replies “Really? You just want us to straight up kill him?”

“That’s right.” “I’m not doing any bullshit supervillain delays this time, just gonna kill him for destroying my most valuable ally.”

“What did he destroy?” Cyclops asks.

“I’d rather not talk about it.” Trump says while softly touching his now artificial hair. “Anyway, time for through to depart.”

“What, wait do I do?” Jack asks Trump.

“Honestly Jack, I don’t know. It didn’t occur to me you’d be pretty much useless for these situations.” Trump replies. “But don’t feel down about it.”

Jack looks down in depression “Thanks for your support sir.”

Trump laughs “God, I’m so considerate.”

Back in CWCville, Chris stares out the window watching the robots walking around the city.

Chris sighs in relief “How about that? One of my plans actually appears to have worked.”

The Minions are standing outside the CWCville border as Contral connects to the robots.

Chris notices the robots shut down for a moment and then power up again, beginning to attack the citizens and buildings.

Sonichu walks in the office “How are your robots doing, Father?”

Chris turns around “Oh, not bad. Some teething problems, but I think—“

One robot jumps through the roof into the office, with Contral, Cyclops and Zogarth on its shoulders.

Zogarth touches the robot and morphs himself to look like one.

The two robots march towards Chris, arming their lasers.

Chris runs behinds his desk and whistles at Sonichu. Sonichu charges at Contral who telepathically controls a toaster to hit Sonichu in the head, knocking him out.

“Oh, Goddammit!” Chris shouts.

Magi-chan and Punchy run in. Punchy runs towards Cyclops who burns Punchy’s face with his laser eye, causing Punchy to collapse to the floor screeching in agony.

Magi-chan focuses on the two robots. He is able to telepathically throw them both out of the window, but they immediately jump back in again, clutching Rosechu and Wild in their hands.

“Oh come on, we weren’t even involved in this!” Wild pleads.

Wild and Rosechu are thrown into the wall, knocking them out.

Chris sighs “Why are you all so useless?!”

As Magi-Chan attempts to fight the robots again, Contral connects to the vibrators in Chris’s closet and launches them all at Magi-Chan.

“Ah! Come on, this is just really gross!” Magi-Chan screams in terror.

“Enough!” Chris bellows “Time to end this!”

“You got that right!” A familiar voice says to Chris. He turns around to see Trump fly in on his golden jetpack through the window.

Trump pulls a golden samurai out of his pocket and swings it at Chris’s face. As Trump prepares to deliver the fatal swing, all the lights in the office and city turn off.

“

What the...?” Chris says.

“Chris!” Allison shouts from her office “The Bulgarians shut off the power again!”

“Wait, hold on a minute. You don’t have electricity?” Trump asks Chris.

“Uh, not at the moment, no.” Chris replies.

Trump shakes his head “OK, let’s get out of here then.”

Trump and the Minions all walk to the window and prepare to jump off.

Chris turns to Trump and says “So, you’re not going to kill me now?”

“Of course not!” Trump replies “Why I would kill someone with no electricity, that’s just sad!”

“Plus, Jack’s waiting outside and he bought KFC.” Zogarth interrupts.

They jump off the window, land to the ground and walk out the city.

Chris turns around to look at his destroyed office and injured hedgehogs.

He sighs in despair “How much pickle-eating will it cost to get this fixed?”

Later that night, Trump lies in bed and asks himself “I totally made the right decision today by not killing Chris today when I had the chance, right? Right?”

A moment of silence.

The sound of “Fuck!” erupts through the White House all night.